Holy Crap! Is it seriously December already? I know they say time goes by so much faster as you get older, but I didn’t realize they meant this fast. If the ‘Time Queen’ could pump the breaks a little bit, that would be great! Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a ‘Time Queen’ and the holiday season is already among us. If you’re anything like me, you LOVE the Holiday’s – cheerful music, everything is decorated and the magic of Santa is all over the place. It’s wonderful!! On the flip side of things, the holidays as an “adult” (I put that in quotations because even though I’m 24, I still don’t feel like one) can be quite the venture.
This week’s blog is all about:
Adulting During the Holidays: 27 thoughts you have when you’re trying to do the whole adult thing
Blackout Wednesday isn’t as much fun on Turkey Thursday because you actually have to help in the kitchen now.
They said I should sit at the kids table, are they being serious? I’m an adult – I can sit wherever I want.
Why did I just admit to being an adult?! Now I have to help clean up the kitchen, too.
Do I need to bring a separate dish from my parents or does their food count as mine, too?
I’m now expected to buy gifts that are separate from my parents – but who do I buy for? All my cousins? Just the cousins I like? Thank god I don’t have nieces and nephews.
Wait, why do I need to buy separate presents but not a separate dish at Thanksgiving? Can I bring a can of corn, forget the presents and call it a day?
Mom and Dad no longer give me $20 to buy a gift for the other parent – that’s 40 dollars more out of my pocket. This suuuucks. That’s a lot of beer money.
(Which leads to…) All of my money for presents have gone to beer. Whoops.
I accidentally spent more money on myself during Christmas shopping – and now I have to wait until the week before Christmas when I have money again.
Making and crafting presents sound like a lot of fun, and cheap/easy – but I ended up spending almost $100, made a mess and wanted to punch a hole in the wall and cry.
I can’t come up with a single thing for my Christmas wish list – If I want something, I go get it.
My wish list ends up being pots and pans.
Why am I actually excited about pots and pans as a present?
OMG! A hy-vee giftcard – this is all I’ve ever wanted. Now to use this on groceries, unlimited chinese or alcohol?! Decisions, decisions.
Should we still put out cookies and milk for Santa Claus? **Thinks to self** Hell yes. Answer is always yes to this question.
Orange juice or mimosa with Christmas breakfast?
People are making these huge life decisions and getting engaged and I can’t even decide what kind of pie I want after this second helping of mashed potatoes.
How many glasses of wine can I drink in front of Grandma and still be on the nice list?Wait, I’m probably already on the naughty list – fuck it!
Man, I want a boyfriend. No you don’t, Tracey – that’s another Christmas present to buy and nobody’s got time for that.
**Opens present of a glittery sweater** Okay, smile and act like you like it.
Damnit, you suck at lying.
Don’t bring up the election. Okay, just don’t get involved in politics. Not now. Oh shit, someone just said something about Trump and planned parenthood. Get ‘Em.
I wanted to be an adult and send Christmas cards, but I can’t afford stamps. Ugh, I’ll just hand deliver them.
Holiday work parties are awkward as hell – I’m 15 years younger than everyone and can’t talk about a significant other or children. So I sit there in silence and ‘appropriately’ and ‘classily’ sip my red wine that is way to fancy for me. Or I’m going to sit by the hors d’oeuvres table and stuff my face instead of make small talk. Yeah, I like this idea better.
***Because these are everyone’s mottos during the holiday’s…***
“Buddy the elf, What’s your favorite color?”
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!”
“I’m singing! I’m in a store and I’m singingggggg..There’s no singing in the North Pole. Yes there is!”
Now that I look back at my list, I’m realizing most of my thoughts were about presents and alcohol – I think that settles it whether or not I succeeded at being an adult during the holidays. Oh well, there’s always next year!
Happy Ho Ho, my friends!
Peace. Love. White Russians.
Xo. The Welcome Woman
(Huge shoutout to Kayla Bartz for the post idea – YOU DA BEST!)♥